According to the Review-Journal, the new chief of the Las Vegas Triple-A baseball team said he wants to let the public pick a new name for the team by next season. Always wanting to be helpful, we offer the following suggestions, along with team mascots:
Las Vegas Pole Dancers. The mascot would be … well, figure it out.
The Showgirls. There are many productions to choose from for the mascot, but we’ll go with Jubilee!
The Sinners. We’ll go with a Betty Boop-esque red female cartoon devil in a showgirl outfit.
The Playahs. This team would have several mascots: a pack of bridge-and-tunnel New Jersey tourists dressed for the clubs.
Two Olives. Mayor Goodman would be the honorary mascot at the season opener, after which the mascot would be a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin. (Hey, think of the promotional tie-ins!)
The Bouncers. The players can’t take the field until they slip the suit-wearing mascot a fake $100 bill.
The Heavy Hitters. We can see it now: Glen Lerner bobblehead day.
The Lake Mead Lakers. This team would have no mascot pending a copyright infringement case with Los Angeles.
The Las Vegas Strongarms. For day games, the mascot would be an aspiring UFC fighter; during night games, a steroid-pumping bouncer. The twist: They’re both the same guy.
The Imploders. Team name refers to buildings, not recent seasons. The mascot? A stick of dynamite.