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Queens of the Stone Age vs. Mastodon: Who rocks harder?

They’re two of the biggest (and craziest) rock bands around, both with notable connections, impressive musical pasts and histories of high-jinks. We face them off in a battle to the death, or at least to see who’s the studlier titan of rock.

Aaron Thompson

Queens of the Stone Age

BAD ASS LYRIC

Queens of the Stone Age: “F--k this road/Well, f--k you, too/I’ll f--kin’ kill your best friend/What you f--kin’ gonna do?” (“Six Shooter”)

Mastodon: “What remorseless emperor commands me/I no longer govern my soul/I am completely immersed in darkness/As I turn my body away from the sun” (“Blood & Thunder”)

FIGHT CLUB

Queens of the Stone Age: Frontman Josh Homme allegedly broke a bottle over the head of Dwarves singer Blag Dahlia. Charged with two battery counts and sentenced to three years probation. Must stay 100 yards from Dahlia.

Mastodon: Frontman Brent Hinds allegedly traded punches with two men (including System of a Down’s Shavo Odadjian) after September’s VMAs. Hinds wound up in the hospital with black eyes, a broken nose and brain hemorrhaging.

HEAVY FRIENDS

Queens of the Stone Age: Mastodon, Dave Grohl, Screaming Trees’ Mark Lanegan, PJ Harvey

Mastodon: Josh Homme, Mars Volta’s Cedric Bixler-Avala, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

FACIAL FUR

Queens of the Stone Age: The proud baby faces seem to have an aversion to hair near the mouths.

Mastodon: Half the band sports ratty, biker-grade beards; the other half, wicked friggin’ sideburns.

UNDERGROUND CRED

Queens of the Stone Age: Homme helped found stoner-rock legends Kyuss and garage-rock outfit Eagles of Death Metal and once played in beloved grunge group Screaming Trees.

Mastodon: Brann Dailor and Bill Kelliher both played in arty metal bands Today Is the Day and Lethargy. Hinds served in Fiend Without a Face, whose members wear panty hose over their faces onstage.

WINNER

Mastodon. Hairier and with scarier lyrics—not to mention anthropomorphic fast-food friends—the Atlantans strike us as more hard-core than Homme’s desert-dwellers, Kyuss cred and penchant for beating down aging punks notwithstanding. Mastodon takes the crown.

Mastodon > Saturday, 3 p.m., Double Down Stage.

Queens of the Stone Age > Saturday, 7:30 p.m., Double Down Stage.

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