1. Report: Giuliani travels frequently on Adelson’s jets. Says casino mogul, “He’s the best stewardess we’ve ever had!”
2. GOP brings out “Democratic Pander Bear” to mock Dems’ debate.
Halliburton Honey Bear too busy gorging on nectar of Iraq to attend.
3. Hillary Clinton wears “asbestos pantsuit” to debate. Kucinich: “I’m not wearing any pants at all! Will someone please pay attention to me?”
4. Celebs flock to Planet Hollywood opening. Patrick Swayze, too.
5. O.J. defense fears jurors may be swayed by his “baggage.” The new Get Away with Murder line by Louis Vuitton!
6. MGM Mirage chief pushes “broad-base” tax. Wait—who you calling broad-based?
7. UNLV student accused of asking “airheaded, sexist” debate question. Wait—who you calling broad-based?
8. LVCVA’s “What happens here ...” ads now aired in Spanish. Aye, dios mio!