When we heard Jon & Kate Plus 8’s Jon Gosselin would be hosting at Wet Republic this Saturday, we were a bit confused. What is this father of multiples currently going through a much-publicized divorce doing in Vegas? And publicly partying it up, no less? We thought his gallivanting with barely-legal girlfriends was bad enough, but Gosselin has hit a new low and is threatening to take Vegas party-goers down with him. That got us thinking: Who would be an even stranger or more inappropriate party host than the Audigier-clad dad? Thanks to an informal office poll, here are the results.
Octomom:
If having a passel of children is what it takes to get your face on a flyer for a Vegas shin-dig, Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez has it in the diaper bag. Besides, we’re guessing she could use the money from the appearance to help wean her dependence on public assistance.
John Ensign:
Relationships outside of marriage are popular amongst party hosts, so our senator is the perfect candidate for this job. Co-hosts could be contestants from the reality show Wife Swap.
Governor Milorad "Rod" Blagojevich:
Scandal and that sweet coif of hair aside, the dude’s got mad karaoke skills and could croon a few Elvis songs as the entertainment for the evening.
Glen Beck:
Hmm… a Fox News personality, recovering addict and Mormon. Who’s ready to be scrutinized for living it up in Vegas?
Jigsaw from the Saw movies:
You think you’re going to drink and dance all night long…
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Jenna and Barbara Bush:
Former president George W. Bush’s daughters are hot in that super-conservative you-know-they-have-a-wild-side kinda way. If you get enough booze in them, maybe they’ll make out.
OJ Simpson:
Wait, has he hosted a party here yet? Former sports stars love the clubs (Hi, Mike Tyson. See you at Seamless later? Michael Phelps, can you pass the dutchie on the left-hand side?). And murderers, kidnappers and thieves like to have a good time, too. Allegedly.
Monica Lewinsky:
Likely celebrating the launch of another handbag line, any female party-goers wearing a blue dress drink for free all night. Complimentary cigars for the guys.
Bristol Palin:
An unwed teen mother from a politically conservative and religious background surrounded by booze and debauchery – what’s not to like? If she’s poolside, maybe Bristol can borrow her mother’s American flag bikini. (Yeah, we know that photo was a fake, but still…)
Bernie Madoff:
Madoff probably won’t make it through his 150-year prison sentence in time to down a bottle of Goose poolside, but should he arrive in Vegas ready to party, we’re thinking a private event for all the folks he defrauded is apropos. If security happens to get lost on the way to the bathroom, we won’t tell anyone.
Chuck Norris:
Actually, we’d attend that event. Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick us if we didn’t.
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